In the past three weeks I must have started twenty blog entries in my mind, mulling them over, chewing on the content, and searching for the perfect words to describe some of what we have been through as a couple, as a family, in the past month. By now enough time has passed that all of my eloquent remembrances don't feel so eloquent any more, and yet, I do think they are important enough to get some down, mostly for Naomi who I hope will read this some day.
I've always considered being by someone's side at the moment of their death to be one of the greatest honors I have had as a physician, even moreso than being the first hands to touch a baby's warm, beautiful, slippery body as he enters the world. I have been blessed to be by a number of patient's sides in those moments as they leave this world, and each of those experiences has taught me something about life, about myself, about God. And perhaps they in some way prepared me to be by Clifton's mom's side that day.
It was a strange but beautiful juxtaposition to have Naomi there with us. During those last hours, when we were experiencing such intense and heart-breaking emotions, to have her laying on the ground or in friend's arms, cooing contentedly, reminding us that this life comes and goes. An excerpt from one of the songs that we sing at church that almost always makes me cry is this:
Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name
Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name
Having Naomi there in the same room made those lines ring even more true: He gives and takes away. And in our quiet moments, even as we mourn, we choose to bless the name of the Lord.
1 comment:
One of my favorite songs... and one of my favorite posts. Just perfect. Having Naomi there truly was beautiful, both in the final moments and all the days before and after. She was my light shining in the darkness and I continue to thank God every day for her :)
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