Happier times

I realized recently that my last blog was still on the loss of our previous pregnancy; we've now passed the day that we would have held that child in our arms. I went back and read our last entry, and am thankful that the rawness of those emotions has been soothed. We still wonder who that child was and think about how our four lives would have been changed by that one life. But we ultimately believe that God taking that child was an act of mercy for a life we assume would have struggled physically in this world. It is also made easier for us as we focus on the new wonderful life that is growing in me. 

To be honest, we weren't sure if we were willing to go down this road again, to put ourselves out there for hurt and loss again. But in the end we chose that we would not let fear dictate our actions. So with some anxiety, we prayerfully decided to do this one more time. We were afraid to hope and dream for this life for the first couple months; we prayed for the health of the baby; and for peace in our hearts if this baby is anything less than healthy. (We are still praying this, so please feel free to join us.)

We are now 17 weeks. I feel pretty good, maybe even starting to feel the baby moving. The nausea was gone by about 12 weeks this time. Energy level is up. My arthritis is mostly well controlled; I am having a bad day here and there. We will have an ultrasound on July 3, at which time we'll hopefully find out we are having a healthy baby and will hopefully learn if it's a boy or girl. Naomi is very excited about the baby--she hopes it's a girl but assumes it will be a boy since she already has a sister. Annika just likes to say "baby" and poke me in my belly button. 

Just this past weekend we celebrated the six year anniversary of our engagement--what a whirlwind of life and loss we have experienced in these short years. In all of it, we are most blessed.